![]() "The fantasies feed the addiction," says Susan Peabody, a love-addiction teacher for 22 years and author of "Addiction To Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships," who is based in the San Francisco Bay area. The thought that "this person is the only one for me" is the root of the affliction. Love and sex addicts may simply be dependent upon (this) physical and psychological arousal triggered by PEA. ![]() Some people experience actual withdrawal symptoms when a relationship ends, yearning for the high or rush associated with the love interest.Īccording to Psychology Today, "Levels of phenylethylamine (PEA) - a chemical in the brain involved in the euphoria that comes with falling in love - rise with feelings of infatuation, boosting euphoria and excitement. There are many reasons a person might have difficulty letting go of an ex, Schaeffer says, including a need for control or predictability, fear of the unknown, basing one's self-esteem on how others view them and substituting drama for closeness. Even for the most stable, well-balanced individuals, that can be difficult to face. ![]() ![]() When a relationship ends, not only do you have to struggle with the person's absence, from your life, there is a concomitant chemical withdrawal, Schaeffer said. "Food, alcohol, smoking and dependent love addiction are all satiation drugs." "All addictions address three neuropathways needed for healthy living: arousal, fantasy and satiation," Schaeffer explains. LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS SAN FRANCISCO MANUAL"Infatuation can overtake the rational parts of your brain."Īlthough love addiction is not classified in "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV," the official handbook used by mental health professionals in the United States, we are culturally, socially and psychologically groomed to be addicted to love, says Brenda Schaeffer, a Minneapolis, Minnesota-based psychologist, certified sexual addiction specialist and author of "Is It Love or Is It Addiction?" "When I first started looking at the properties of infatuation, they had some of the same elements of a cocaine high: sleeplessness, loss of a sense of time, absolute focus on love to the detriment of all around you," Fisher said of her research when interviewed by Psychology Today magazine. When Fisher applied brain-imaging technology to a group of volunteers looking at photos of their romantic partners, she discovered that the areas of the brain that lit up were the same as those that corresponded to drug addiction. Fisher, Ph.D., a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University and author of "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love." The addictive nature of love is highlighted in research conducted by Helen E. There is scientific evidence of love's grip on the brain. LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS SAN FRANCISCO TRIALNowak - who is awaiting trial - pleaded not guilty to attempted kidnapping, battery and assault, and the defense has filed notice of intent to claim temporary insanity by citing obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, insomnia and a brief psychotic disorder. The former NASA astronaut and married mother of three was accused earlier this year of trying to kidnap the woman who was dating Nowak's former lover, Navy Cmdr. One example at the extreme end of the spectrum, is Lisa Nowak. So why is it that some people have a hard time letting go, months or even years after ending a relationship? Although it's natural to mourn the loss of a relationship, some people take such feelings too far. But one thing is inevitable: Eventually you have to move on.
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